Part 3 – The Day of Surgery

Then the day finally arrived. 29th of August 2013. It is difficult to put into words what I felt that day, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It remains one of the most important experiences of my life. Looking back, it was also a time when I felt myself drawing even closer to Jehovah. Raeyan had been admitted to the hospital the day before. From the moment we arrived, I could feel the fear taking over my body. My hands began to shiver. My feet became cold. I couldn’t think properly.

That morning, I was in the ward with my sister, waiting for Kugan to arrive. I kept looking for him. I needed him there. While I was waiting, a group of cardiologists came to speak with me about Raeyan and to go through the final formalities before the surgery. Raeyan was lying on his bed nearby. One of the doctors was talking to him and playing with him.

Then someone from the team asked me for my identity card. I was completely blurred. Without even realizing what I was doing, I handed him my driving license instead. The doctor looked at me and said gently, “Mummy, I’m asking for your identity card.” I suddenly realized what I had done. My hands were shaking. I apologized, took back my driving license and gave him my identity card. They could see how nervous I was and asked me to relax.

Then came the moment when they asked me to sign the consent. One of the doctors looked at me seriously and asked: “Do you understand how risky this surgery is without blood transfusion? ” Then came another question: “Are you prepared for possible complications? Think carefully before you sign. Look at your child. He is alive now. Don’t regret your decision later.” Those words made me freeze. I looked at my little boy. He was there, alive, innocent and completely unaware of what was about to happen. But inside me, there was something stronger than fear. My trust in Jehovah would not fade. I believed that Jehovah would be with my child.

In that brief moment, a scripture account came strongly to my mind, the account of Abraham and Isaac. I thought about Abraham’s unwavering faith in Jehovah and how Jehovah kept His promise to him. I knew I was not putting my child through surgery as some kind of test of my faith. Raeyan genuinely needed the surgery. I had done everything I could as his mother. I had asked questions, listened to the doctors, prepared him and prayed. Now I had to take the next step. 

So, I said, “Yes. Proceed.” And I signed. After that, some of the medical staff began asking me about my religion. “What is your religion?” “What is your God’s name?” I told them that I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and that I worshipped Jehovah. They began to understand why this decision was so important to us. And then, my little two-year-old boy was taken away for his open-heart surgery.

The Last Moments Before Surgery

While all of this was happening, a Malay nurse from the rehabilitation department came to see me. She spoke to me so kindly. She looked at Raeyan and called him her “strong boy.” Then she said something that I will never forget: “Pray to your God, Jehovah.” It was the first time she had heard the name Jehovah and learned about our stand regarding blood transfusions. Her words touched me deeply. She then told me that her shift was ending and that she had to leave. “I’ll come and see you both tomorrow. I hope everything will be alright.” Those simple words of kindness meant so much to me at that moment.

Soon after, Raeyan was taken towards the operating theatre. By then, the rest of my family had arrived to be with me and Kugan. We followed our little boy together. When we reached the operating theatre, we were asked to wait in the waiting area. Before Raeyan was taken inside, my family and Kugan had a chance to kiss him and say goodbye for the moment. Then something very special happened.

I was the only one allowed to go into the operating theatre with Raeyan for those final moments before they gave him the anaesthesia. I walked in with my little boy.I met the experienced anaesthetist, who spoke to me one last time. He looked at me and asked, “Are you really sure you want this to happen? If there is a complication, are you prepared for what might happen? What if I cannot save him?”

I broke down in tears. It was so hard for me. But through my tears, I said, “Yes.”

He allowed me to kiss and hug my Raeyan one last time before the anesthesia was given. I held my little boy close. He was only two years old. I knew that very soon he would be asleep, and the doctors would begin the surgery we had spent so much time preparing for. I just wanted to stay beside him for those last few moments. I wanted to look at him, touch him, and hold my precious boy close. My heart was filled with fear, but at the same time, I kept praying: “Jehovah, please be with my little boy.” Then the moment came. The anesthesia was given.

And slowly, my little prince fell asleep. I had to let him go. I walked out of that operating theatre knowing that I had placed my precious child’s life in the hands of the medical team and, above all, in Jehovah’s hands.